Friday, January 31, 2025

Fragility, Futility, and the Lifesaving Power of Community

 



This is not a post about Helene, but I'm going to start there. Bear with me. The morning following the storm, my neighbors and I began to peek out, wary of the still gusty winds among the massive tree trunks and limbs on the roads, cars, and houses of the neighborhood. We had power briefly that morning, but once we lost it, it was gone for a long while. My whole-house generator kicked on, making a racket in the now-quiet collection of homes clustered near the top of Long John Mountain. I'd never had one before - not through my years in storm-riddled Florida, not in snowy Maryland. With it, I had the ability to help - not with a chainsaw like the posse of neighbors who made their way up the mountain, clearing the road with giant saws, rakes, and loppers, pulling limbs and logs to the shoulders before passing through with their pickup trucks. We were all in the street, checking on each other, surveying damage, providing aid where we could. For us, that was providing hot meals to those who could use it. Another neighbor brought in non-potable water from his business so we could flush toilets, because no power means no pump house at the bottom of the mountain. No showers, no laundry, no dishwasher. I met more neighbors in those first few days than I had in the 18 months I'd been here.




Just prior to the storm, my employer cut my hours, essentially making me part time when classes were scheduled and on my own when they were not. I chose to think of the additional time as an opportunity to focus more attention on writing. I'd just returned from Bouchercon - the World Mystery Convention, I was podcasting about writing life in North Carolina, and I had ideas to chase down. And then my podcasting partner stepped away to pursue her own projects. I added affiliate links for cool stuff I loved that I thought other readers, writers, and listeners would love too - nothing happened. I tried to build an audience for the podcast on my own - nothing changed. I powered through lessons to learn new skills to help me organize, create ads and market my efforts, drive traffic to my sites and my books - nothing came of it. And it was costing me every month, what now began to feel like a futile attempt to get my feet under me in a flood of change and ruin.


I made the decision to shutter Secrets and Lies at the beginning of the year. I was paying for recording, for hosting, and for promotion and not making any headway, and since I no longer had my former salary to liferaft it, it seemed ridiculous to keep going. I'm sad that I never quite got the podcast where I wanted it, but I learned a lot and I enjoyed it, so it was worthwhile.

So as I wade into the full on hellscape that has been January with one jawdropping headline after another, I remember my community who stepped up for each other through times of crisis. Carly at Claywood who fed people for free and provided workspace for those without power or internet after the storm. They endured prolonged construction essentially cutting them off from their customers and lost a team member unexpectedly and now it's our turn to step up and help. Make this a special occasion and celebrate at Claywood with a soul-soothing glass of dry reisling and some mushroom agnolotti.


Stop in The Joy of Books and pick up a local writer's work or a good whodunit to pass the time away from screens. I just acquired As the Crow Dies by Kenneth Butcher (could you have a better writer name?) and I'm excited to tackle an Asheville mystery. Bookstores and libraries are havens and deserve our support. And the peace they provide is unmatched, unless you happen to have gotten a gift for the spa at the Omni Grove Park Inn, in which case, the spa will take that matchup. Otherwise, though - bookstores all day.

Stop in at Three Chopt and check out the charming spot while noshing on a sandwich and chatting with the owner. Drop by Whit's for the Hendersonville Gem (a sundae with frozen custard, hot fudge, caramel, and toasted pecans - omg) because they donated a portion to local first responders, and because it's ridiculously good. Grab breakfast at Pop's diner or a slice at K's NY Pizza and SoFlo Food or lunch at the Purple Onion in Saluda. Find these local treasures and help others find them too. They are our neighbors and they need us now.

It seems like everyone has something in common - a school we attended, a place we lived or visited, a book we loved. Community is what we make it, so for those of you who are stepping up to provide a struggling writer a review or visiting a local business that needs our support, or sharing about your good experiences, or just plain being kind, know that it is appreciated, needed, and that those of us on the receiving end will happily pay it forward.

As for me, I am looking forward too. I have two new nonfiction books out on Amazon, and I'm writing the second Gina Morrison mystery. The Kindle version of Ten Dysfunctions is on sale for $.99 and I hope to hear back about some new story submissions in the coming weeks. 

May you have good coffee and good stories!

💕📚 Carolyn


Tuesday, November 19, 2024


mystery themed items

30 Intriguing Gift Ideas for Mystery Lovers


If you’re shopping for someone who can’t resist a good whodunit or loves unraveling a gripping plot, this list is for you! From books to games to unique experiences, these 30 gift ideas are perfect for mystery fans who crave suspense and intrigue.


Table of Contents


1. Gifts for the home library

2. Interactive Mystery Games

3. Mystery-Themed Decor

4. Unique Gifts for Writers

5. Accessories and Apparel


1. Gifts for the home library


Every mystery fan needs accessories for their collection of thrilling reads:

1. Fancy Library Sign – This beautiful wood library sign is a steal for under $30 and will class up your favorite reading space.

2. Book Shaped Bookmark holders – Because no one better be folding down page corners!

3. Tiny Baker St – Your bookshelf will thank you.

4. Agatha Christie Cookbook - Need a snack to go with game night?

            Here are some recipes inspired by classic mysteries by the queen of crime

5. Book Light – Gorgeous ambient light for your cozy nook.


2. Interactive Mystery Games


Bring the thrill of solving mysteries to life:

6. Escape Room Advent Calendar – This will make waiting for Christmas just a little more fun!

7. Agatha Christie Jigsaw Puzzle – Keep finding spots for those loose pieces until there are none.

8. Death at a Dive Bar – From Hunt a Killer, a mystery-solving challenge at home.

9. Mystery in an Asylum – The Asylum Murders - sure to be spooky fun!

10. Robbery at the Museum – If Asylum murders are a little too intense, this family friendly game is from the Makers of Clue.


3. Mystery-Themed Decor


Add a touch of intrigue to their home:

11. Sherlock Holmes 221B Sign – Timeless and atmospheric decor.

12. Secret Compartment Books – For hiding clues or valuables.

13. Murder Board backdrop – Functional and decorative.

14. Clue Game Patent Poster – For old-school armchair sleuths.

15. Candle - Smells Like Just One More Chapter – Because we need to know what happens next.


4. Unique Gifts for Writers

For those wordsmiths, toiling away at their writing desks - or the coffee shop:

16. Typewriter Pen Holder – A gorgeous reminder on your desk that you should be writing!

17. Emotion Thesaurus – A Writer's Guide to Character Expression - for your craft shelf.

18. Do Not Disturb door hanger – So you can torment your characters in peace.

19. Write Revise Scream Repeat – A reminder that all these steps are part of the process.

20. Candle - Smells Like She's Writing a Bestseller – Show your support for the writer in your life and a great scented candle.


5. Accessories and Apparel


Tees and gifts that mystery fans will love:

21. Hound of the Baskervilles Scarf – For shivers that aren't related to the sounds off the moor.

22. Allegedly Shirt– for those "gotta hide a body" hypotheticals.

23. Unreliable Narrator Shirt – Perfect for curling up with a good book.

24. Sherlock Holmes Mug – For a three-cup read.

25. Theme, Setting, Plot, Conflict, Character – All the ingredients for a great story

26. Raven Purse - So you will forget your keys Nevermore.

27. Book Purse - Perfect for brunch and then a visit to the local bookshop.

28. Clue Weapons Tee - Miss Scarlet's options for the Library...or the Conservatory.

29. Crime Scene Tape Glasses Wipe - from the geniuses at Nerdwax, this surprising effective lens cleaner will make you the envy of your book club

30. Nancy Drew shirt - girl sleuths unite!


Final Thoughts


Mystery fans are always on the hunt for their next great thrill. Whether they love unraveling intricate plots, playing detective, or immersing themselves in suspenseful experiences, these 30 gift ideas are sure to delight. A small commission may be paid by the seller for purchases made through these links.


Did we miss any must-have gifts for mystery lovers? Share your suggestions in the comments below!







Saturday, February 24, 2024

Green Thumbs? All Out of Those

I am not a natural gardener. My annual herb garden has spotty success - fine with parsley (usually), adequate with basil, straight on hellscape for cilantro. I can't seem to do it. I'm zero for six I think. Even with my new aerogardens, I fear for my thyme and chives. I don't seem cut out for houseplants. I've had better luck in the past with outdoor foliage. With the move to North Carolina last year, I've had little time for much beyond mowing what little grass there is (I have moss!) and mulching around the trees. Impulse lead to a purchase of bulbs from holland - LOTS of them - for daffodils and tulips and a bunch of ferns for a steep hillside. I had to wait months for the bulbs, but when they arrived in the fall, I planted them strategically, accenting existing shrubberies (thwaaaaang!)*, the fenceline, and the road. This week, they started peeking out.
Of course, it was hard to see them under the leaves that have collected over the last five months. I left them in place as added insulation through the winter, but now they are a wet, heavy mess. I started to clear just around the new bulbs, but that created leaf dunes and a lumpy landscape. So, armed with a new, wider rake, I tackled one small section of the yard and an hour later, I had five giant bags filled and a burning desire to hire professional help. The burning might have been my arm appendages.


Yes, that's a snow shovel. 




And then - the birdhouses. 
I think they are charming. Initially, I thought they would make cute decorations for my sunroom, but after three, I didn't have any place to display them. At some future point, I'd like some live edge shelves for the brick wall, but until then, it seemed a good idea to hang them out front so I could see happy birdy families from my office.  Dave says they make our house look "Blair Witchy"


Well, maybe. But the leaves will return soon and bring color back to the mountain. In the meantime, I have this:






* Seriously? Monty Python

Friday, August 11, 2023

Planes, Training, and No Automobile

 I moved out of Maryland at the end of March, getting into our new house in early April of this year and since then, I've been back to Maryland FOUR times. Three of these trips were to teach the same class which normally would be done in one week, but on this current trip, will be stretched over two - including two Saturdays - due to the needs of the client. 

So, two weeks away from my new home. Fine. This time, instead of the economy airport-adjacent digs, I'm in Columbia, my room literally looking over Color Burst Park near Merriweather. My hotel is not really a hotel as much as two floors of a brand new apartment building that is not yet occupied, so no hotel amenities like daily maid service, but I have a kitchen so that's something. There's also no cable or satellite so streaming is the only TV and it's tricky when your registered address is in another state. Turns out I have to stream on my phone and mirror to the TV if I want to catch Only Murders in the Building. Or Justified: City Primeval. And I do want - both of those, so I make it work.

I'd flown in over the business park and neighboring quarry that I'd featured in White Noise, so perhaps the annoyance at Columbia's curvy roads, hidden businesses, and all-around retention I'd captured in that story made a home in the back of my mind. 



Quarry viewed from the plane

My temporary home is, at least new, and I'd scored a view over Color Burst Park. There are a few restaurants and an ice creamery, so I was optimistic. One is a favorite - Busboys and Poets, part of a local chain serving good food in a hip, socially-conscious location with a bookshop and some live events. I headed there after checking in and dropping my bags. Checking in meant finding my way through several security points to a random apartment on the fourth floor which serves as the reception area of sorts, much like model homes are often the business offices for new communities. The hallways are long and quiet, as if the building is empty and maybe not really open yet. But, my little one bedroom is cute, clean, and as I mentioned before, overlooks the park with its splash pad, umbrellas large astroturf lawn, and surrounding businesses. 


The apartment building where my "hotel" is located



Color Burst Park 
There is a patch of real grass with a large turf area beyond. The building in the very back is Busboys and Poets



BB&P was busy, but they sat me right away, tucked away behind the bar near the kitchen window. It was a little while before I realized that no one had noticed me there. No amount of waving at staff by the kitchen or the server assisting the other nearby tables seemed to get anyone's attention. After about 15 minutes, I had to go back to the host stand (and I almost just kept walking) to see if I had a server assigned. Turns out to have been the server I'd tried to flag down before. I wish I could say that my experience turned around from that point, but it really didn't.  That said, the food really is terrific and the shop is cute and interesting, so I still recommend, but I'll be doing carry-out this trip.

I arrived here on a Sunday evening, so I am surprised at how loud this little neighborhood has been (and continues to be) especially as the majority of the first floor commercial spaces are not yet up and running.  IT'S LOUD. Screaming kids playing soccer late into the night, sirens, an absurd number of rumbling muscle cars, and six am leaf blowers. IT'S ASTROTURF. My windows are not very sound insulating. 


This effing machine is crazy loud

The unopened businesses are a bummer, too because they look like they'll be cool. A nail spa, a steak place, Mighty Quinn's BBQ (the creator is a frequent judge on Beat Bobby Flay), a Japanese BBQ place (intrigued), a video game bar/restaurant (hell no), and a gourmet coffee and croissant spot (yes, please). There is a standalone building at one end of the park called Toastique, a purveyor of fancy "toasts" - literally gourmet things stacked on a slice of rustic bread, served on a wooden paddle.  Like Food Network fancy. Not my thing, BUT, they have an acai bowl that is near perfection. It's the right size, it has the necessary strawberries and bananas, granola, blueberries, honey drizzle (which I usually asked them to skip) and COCOA NIBS. The cocoa nibs are the revelatory ingredient that has me coming back for this acai bowl every day as either my breakfast or lunch. 

I mean - look at how delicious that's gonna be!


For extra fun, most are under construction behind the scrim, so add more jackhammering, air compressors, and general pandemonium

My building from Toastique as I picked up yet another delicious acai bowl.

There's also a Banditos - another chain, that serves "Tacos and Tequila." My first visit wasn't the best through no fault of theirs, I just can't handle their regular house margarita - like I couldn't drink it. A couple of sips and I scraped the last of the queso out of my little cup with the chips, paid my bill, and left without even ordering an entree. (Note: "Entree" seems like the wrong word here - it's tacos, and you pick them individually. This is not "Chi Chi's")  In spite of my failure to handle their simplest margarita, I tried again last night, opting for an orange crush (still made with tequila, though orange-flavored, and I sub soda water for the Sprite) and a trio of tacos.  Heaven!  Five stars! I'll be back!


Amazing


Really good

Anyway, I did not get a rental car as the distance is just a little over half a mile around Merriweather Post Pavilion and I figured the steps might contribute to a work trip glow up. There's always Uber if the weather is bad or it gets too dark, right? Well, I watch too much Dateline for walking about in the city, loaded down with my purse and computer backpack without anxiety. I actually heard a cough from the woods on one trip back to my rooms - yikes! But, I've been lucky with the weather - not as hot as I expected for a Maryland August and there's usually a breeze. It appears that MPP is preparing for a show tonight, so at least I won't be a solitary pedestrian on my way back after class this evening. I'll probably be able to experience the show from inside my apartment, whether I want to or not. Perhaps I'll stop for two orange crushes first.


















Saturday, January 21, 2023

My Thoughts on Memoir After Reading "Spare"

This isn't exactly a book review - though I wrote one on Goodreads which I include below.

I have a lot of thoughts here - in fact I feel compelled to blog about it shortly, but I'll say this:
Everyone has the right to share their own story

Everyone has the right to decide that their living situation is not healthy for them or their family and then make a change

Families are complex and difficult sometimes, no matter who you are.

I imagine there's more regret in playing an uncomfortable part that's written for you than finding your path without a map even if people shout that you are going the wrong way.

I'm not a fan of tabloid "news" on either side of the pond, but I'll admit to loving The Crown on Netflix and a few documentaries here and there. It's not an obsession, more a curiosity (my obsession would be Jane Austen and all things Agatha Christie) so Harry's perspective first as a young boy and later as a young(ish) man to events both familiar and unfamiliar to the general public interested me.

Keep an open mind and give it a try. Perhaps we could all judge just a little bit less.


Obviously, I have some feelings here, but if I had to sum it up into one thought it would be this:




Writing memoir is hard. I've only done snippets here and there (I don't think "Beedancing" is even still up on the Gimmick Press site) though I suppose most of my blog here is memoir-lite. I have the luxury of talking or not talking about my experiences because they are not public. I didn't grow up as the subject of worldwide fascination and incessant media attention. I have no idea how I would handle that.

I have seen others in my life stay in unhealthy relationships because breaking away "wasn't done" or would embarrass others or was too frightening than the familiar unhappiness they knew. I've seen others in my life stay in jobs for years that drained their joy because looking for something else - risking something else - was unthinkable. I've seen friends marry early because it was "the next step" or because they wanted to break free of their homes and later find that they've traded one confining situation for another. The bottom line here is that is frightening common to look around with some despair or regret or fear or whatever emotion fits and wonder whether anything can be done.


“Don’t cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.”
― Aubrey de Grey


My parents divorced when I was young - before kindergarten - and I remember the drive back across the country with my mom and my uncle and my little sister in a crappy car that overheated a lot. My sister and I played with a metal tin of bandaids that we stuck all over ourselves and each other in the back seat, the one thing we knew always made us feel better.

Complication 1. My mom apparently eloped with my dad while they were both in college and my mother still lived at home with my grandparents. Like, she literally climbed out the window. I'm sure it was dramatic and exciting and maybe even romantic in the moment but it caused a rift. I'm told that her pregnancy with me (first grandchild) eased the way back a bit with the parentals. I can also imagine that this new married life would have been a shock and a steep learning curve as my mother had not been raised as many women of the time were with extensive homemaking skills. I imagine that stepping into a role with such pre-defined expectations without the script would lead to all sorts of issues that two young people would struggle to overcome. I don't imagine my dad was much better prepared to be a husband or father.

Complication 2. After my mother's foray into the marital state, her next younger brother (she is the only daughter of five, with one older and three younger brothers) met and married my father's sister, my Aunt Gail. (two siblings married two other siblings - I feel like I should make a chart here) She already had children by previous relationships with one close to my age - instant cousin! My aunt and uncle soon had a son together, who was now my cousin on both sides of my family. Seriously, a chart would help, right? And then they, too, got divorced.

Complication 3. Everybody remarried, some more than once.
So, there is a divide, both geographically and emotionally, between my parents' families. It's not the Montagues and the Capulets - it's just distance, awkwardness, and choices made to focus on that which is nearby. I don't harbor anger or anything like that, I just moved on. My mother had married again, (wowsa, another book in of itself) was widowed, raised us mostly alone, and then married again once my sister and I were grown. She has since been widowed again and has really blossomed in her new independence. For the first time in her life, she is not sharing her space with her parents or a spouse or a dependent child - she is free to make decisions, mistakes, friends, and all of the other messy and wonderful parts of a life. And she is happy.

I never married and I never had children. I saw no need for the former and had no desire for the latter. Was this in defiance of my past? Who knows? My sister has three lovely girls and many grandchildren. It seems a happy chaos.

I haven't seen my father in many years, in fact, since my cousin's wedding. (my cousin on both sides) After arriving at the church in Baltimore with my mother who was in town helping me move into a new house, I slid into a pew on the groom's side. The man sitting directly in front of me turned around and there he was. I was shocked and unprepared as I'd never dreamed he would travel across country for this wedding. But here he was. He said something like You look beautiful, and I mumbled my thanks, face aflame, acutely aware of my mother's cool composure at my side. He did not approach me at the reception.

My father has two sons by his third(?) wife who was very kind to me during an ill-conceived semester I spent in Arizona when I was about 21. It was a terrible idea that did not end well, partly because I was wading into deep waters I did not understand, partly because I was 21 with all the self-absorption, insecurity, and naivete of that age, and partly because we were all strangers to each other, all carrying assumptions we were not comfortable talking about. When I last saw my half-brothers, they were five and three.

So, back to Spare.

It's not perfect, but I don't think it's trying to be. Harry (feels weird calling him "Harry" as if we know each other) is not perfect - at all. But he seems to be doing the best he can. He seems to be a good person who cares deeply for his family, even those who are not as nice or warm as they could be. He has recognized the trap of the "role" and has stepped back when it was clearly not healthy for him or his family.

Don't hate on him for telling his story. It's his to share. Don't hate on him for promoting his book, even though much of his trauma comes from interactions with the media. It's part of the process of releasing a book, and in this case, of making his own way, making his own money, and steering his own life, just as we are all free to do. You don't have to be friends, but you also don't have to be an asshole.

I have a bracelet inscribed with this quote to remind me to bravely choose my own way:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.”
― Henry David Thoreau



Harry, if you're reading this (still feels weird), maybe slow down with the drinking and substances a bit, keep it up with the therapist (no shame!), take care of that beautiful family, and live the life you are now free to imagine.

Side note: For those of you interested in memoir and family stories, check out my friend Vicki's project Secret Boxes here. It's really cool.