I love Thanksgiving. I especially love Thanksgiving at home because I have full control over the family recipes I grew up enjoying - even the weird ones. But this year is complicated. I'm not comfortable gathering with others while we have no protection from the coronavirus aside from masks one can't wear while eating or drinking and social distancing which is difficult if not impossible inside.
Part of me wants to embrace the desire to burrow in blankets on the sofa, drawing the curtains closed against the world and nap-watching Netflix and Hallmark. But for most, Thanksgiving is an occasion to gather friends and family, especially when those loved ones are not usually close by. My heart goes out to those who are craving that companionship though my body will not follow this year. It hurts.
My BF had to travel last week to check on his father and while I know that it was necessary, I worry about the safety of moving through airports, especially on the way to older relatives. So now that he has returned, we are in isolation here until we can be sure that we cannot share any unintended consequences with others. I have learned to appreciate the silver linings of quarantine living:
Grocery Delivery
I used to really enjoy grocery shopping, winding my way through the aisles, finding exactly what I need while saving as much as I can with savvy choices. Now, 90% of my shopping is done online via Instacart or Whole Foods by way of Amazon. My items are bagged and left at my door - no contact style, usually within two hours or so. The plusses here are obvious, but I also like that I have the opportunity to tip my delivery driver - a real person who is out in the dangerous world, making it possible for me to stay mostly home. Occasionally, item scarcity or particularity will required me to mask up and venture out, such as my hunt for a smaller turkey. I dug through the freezer bin for my prize 12 pounder hidden among the 25 pound giant Butterballs myself, suppressing the desire to hold it above my head and crow of my success and instead just hustling to the self checkout. But all of the bird's accompaniments were brought to my door.
Meal Delivery/Curbside
Of course, I've always enjoyed a pizza delivery, but now our choices are much wider. And delivery and curbside pick up allow opportunities to support favorite small establishments that I love but can't visit in person in the usual way. I'll drive a little out of the way once a week to get coffee from the local roaster/cafe who struggles now that the dining room is not available to local writers, students, or families accustomed to lingering over an iced coffee and an indulgent weekend breakfast. Another chance to tip generously so these craftspeople who don't have the option of working from home as I do can stay afloat until normal activities resume, hopefully in the new year.
Nesting
Followers of this blog will know that I spent years fixing up my 1927 bungalow home only to sell it and move in with my boyfriend. Though I definitely appreciate having modern conveniences like central air and heat, it didn't take long for me to start tinkering with my new space. My BF is a good sport, stifling any objections as I chipped away at each room, repainting, replacing furniture and flooring, adding plants, paintings, and a fantastic coffee bar. It's a slow process, but it allows for mini-reveals that make us really appreciate our home together. It started with a powder room overhaul and progressed to a suite of new kitchen appliances which make me sing with joy. We still have plenty to go, but we are grateful to have a comfortable home that increasingly reflects an inviting warmth that our post-pandemic guests/visitors should feel. For now, the cats like it and Bella has claimed the new sofa.
Triage
I decorated for Christmas ridiculously early this year, like right after Halloween. I was stressed out about work, about Dave's upcoming trip, about not accepting Thanksgiving invitations, rising COVID deaths, etc. I had already started with some online Christmas shopping here and there and packages started to arrive. I could hide them or wrap them. Once wrapped, it seemed foolish to stack them downstairs in my office, so I put up the tree. Then the stockings. Then the outside lights. Four weeks later, another neighbor on our cul de sac also installed exterior lights and I expect that Thanksgiving weekend will usher in more festive displays. Even so, I felt better when I needed it. Our cats definitely enjoy it too.
Here's the thing - I can only focus on what I can control. Aside from trying not to contribute to it, I can't do much about the pandemic, BUT I can busy myself with removing clutter, thinking about how to improve our living space, how I can help a neighbor, and taking good care of the pets.
I try not to beat myself up too much about all the reading I'm not doing or all of the writing which isn't happening. I'm getting by and for now, that's enough. The priorities are different and that's okay for now. Also, I know how lucky I am to be able to continue working even though I don't go into an office. Many of my friends and former colleagues are dealing with lay offs, scaled back hours, and furloughs. Let's use this holiday time to support any side hustles they may have. Make sure to reach out and check on them. Help out where you can. Even if you can't help, give them an ear (over the phone of course) and make sure they feel seen and heard. Having been through a reduction myself, I can't imagine how much harder it must be during a pandemic.
In fact, try cutting everyone a break this year. Even the surly ones. They may be worried about sick loved ones, or they may have conditions which make getting the virus particularly dangerous. They may be feeling guilt about declining invitations or turning away guests who normally visit over the holidays. They may be worried about what Christmas is going to look like. Or Hanukkah. Or they may have lost someone this year without being able to mourn or support or any of the otherwise normal parts of living in this world. There's plenty of time to be an asshole later. Maybe put it off until next year. And don't be too hard on those of us who have discovered the quarantine fifteen (or more). We are eating and watching television and trying to stay safe in our stretchiest pants. Chubby happens.
Take care of you! And if you want to help take care of others, look around your neighborhood. Here are a few places I like:
Zeke's Coffee - I've written plenty of stories here, and all while drinking some of the best iced coffee around. They'll do curbside pick up or you can get cofee beans shipped to your home.
Jamie's Color Street page - How are those pandemic nails looking? Want something you can do at home? Check it out.
Browseabout Books - You can pick up a copy of Beach Mysteries here (I have a story inside) or any other book you might like. They make great gifts! They will ship if you aren't close by. If you have a favorite local independent bookstore, make sure you think of them when shopping for the holidays or yourself.
Any of your favorite local restaurants - I'm not really ready for "going out" especially when that means "eating inside" but I'm all about take out. Get the ravioli, you deserve it.
Towson Hot Bagel - Yum. They have the "order through the app" thing down. Pickup is easy and contact free. I'm pretty serious about my breakfast, especially my coffee and breakfast. So there's one more:
Miss Shirley's - get the shrimp and grits, or the pancakes or anything that comes with the cheesy bacon grits. They are magical.
As we prepare for Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the quiet time with my BF and the pets. I try not to let my impatience for all the activities that just aren't safe now get too much in the way of being a good human. I wish you all a happy and safe holiday season! Keep yourselves and your families healthy and we will gather again in the new year.
