DIY Writing Residency For the Fiscally Challenged

That would be me. I'm the fiscally challenged. For an explanation, scroll down my blog posts to the series on my home renovations, most notably the kitchen. Alas, no hidden gold spilled from the walls when I pulled them down, so I had to apply my creativity to my financing options. Anyhooo...

I've been on a bit of writing spree lately, as much as one can be with two other jobs. Fortunately one of those jobs really helps with inspiration. I'm on story three of ten for a collection I'm tentatively calling "Ten Dysfunctions of My Team: Tales of Horror for the Cubicle-Bound." Seriously, it's cheaper than a therapist, and as mentioned before, I'm broke until my glorious new dishwasher is paid off.

I find it difficult to write at home. It's not impossible - I'm doing it right now - but my home is where my refrigerator is (I've eaten a ridiculous amount of ice cream just since I arrived home from work) and where my sofa is (I'm prone to napping. I'm prone to napping! See what I did there? Oh, never mind). When I plan better, I like to pack up my laptop and go to my favorite library - the Athenaeum at Goucher College in Towson because it has everything - study carrels, a quiet floor, a beautiful but not too distracting view, and hardly any students. But, for the sake of argument, let's assume that I didn't plan at all and so I tap out whatever words I can before and after work, sometimes after waking obscenely early in the morning when I should be doing nothing social or communication-related until coffee has happened.

I'd like to say that I get most of my writing done on the weekend, but the opposite is true. Weekends are for napping and lazy breakfast, or even better  - brunch, because that comes with mimosas and then afterwards, of course, napping. I also have to catch up on my DVR stuff and usually laundry and dishes and whatnot. Occasionally, I see a movie. Dinosaurs may or may not be involved.

A couple of months ago, I traveled down to my uncle's lake house in North Carolina along with my boyfriend. Away from the distractions of my home and my wonderful doggie (who likes to go out and come back in and then go out and then have a cookie and a tummy rub), I wrote and revised a decent short story in a genre I'd not worked in before AND I got to ride in the pontoon boat with wine and snacks. It was a lovely, lovely time and even though I worked hard on my story, I still had time for recreation, rest, and socializing like a human. But my uncle won't let me move in, so I need another way to get some work done. I'd love to do a writing retreat, but the budget can't bear it this year, so what to do?

The answer came from a colleague who is regularly forced to listen to me whine. Stephanie has found a different writing idea inspired by our work environment - children's books explaining the absurdities of project management. I have my doubts that anyone can explain the absurdities of project management even in a board book, but we'll see. It turns out that both of us had longed to do the short-lived Amtrak Writing Residency where after submitting a writing sample and an application, a few chosen writers got to ride the rails at no cost as long as they blogged and tweeted occasionally about their experience. Alas, neither of us were selected and we have neither the time or the budget to do the cross country thing, but Stephanie scouted out a route to Vermont from Baltimore that took roughly 12 hours each way. That seems like a lot of good writing time! And we end up at the birthplace of Ben & Jerry's! Win win! The round trip train ticket came in less that $150 and I had enough travel points saved for two hotel nights. Two nights were necessary, I reasoned, so that we could rest up between marathon writing sessions. And I wanted to gaze upon Lake Champlain. And go see the ice cream factory, maybe for the second time.

Thus was born our DIY Writing Residency on the cheap. We will go in August and I pray that lake breezes or mountains or northerliness saves us from what will be oppressive heat in Baltimore at that time. My renovations didn't include central air.

We will scope out some good seats, hopefully away from children, annoying businessmen on their phones, and the hygienically challenged and see how much we can get done. I will channel all my Murder on the Orient Express juju into twisty tales with only intermittent breaks for the club car, naps (plural - the rocking and clack clack of the rails is like writer-ambien), and a few stretching walks where I may look for suspicious characters. Stephanie likely has her own processes and strategies for success, though as long as they do not include primal screaming, we should travel well together.

Amtrak, if you feel moved by our plight, feel free to toss us an upgrade to business class - we won't say no. We'll be live tweeting and Facebook posting about it the whole time anyway. Who knows, maybe this will become a thing! God knows, we can't wait on another full on Residency on the Rails but we can get out of the house and find our own writing adventure, at least until our literary ships come in. Writing cruise, anyone? That's going to take many more yard sales.